Thank You Mother
When Levi was born my Mother was fulfilling a life-long dream of serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Botswana Africa. She had been able to visit briefly soon after his birth as she witnessed him being able to make the transition from Neonatal ICU to home. She then had to return for Botswana to continue her service. It was there that she inherited the name Nkuku, which means Grandmother in Setswana.
In the following nine months she was able to accelerate her mission in Bostwana of assisting the opening of a day school for local children who had become orphans as a result of AIDS. This was an astounding accomplishment considering that her first grandchild’s life was teetering on the edge of life/death back in MN. By the time Levi was 11 months old my Mother had completed her mission in Botswana, returned to the U.S. and relocated to MN.
Levi had just wrestled his way through his first two-month battle with pneumonia. As parents we were astounded that he managed to do this. We had been told by doctors that pneumonia would likely become end of life for him because his MRI questioned if he had the ability to clear his own airway (sneeze, cough) let alone be strong enough to expel fluid from his lungs.
By a miracle of the Lord, Levi developed a sneeze. He worked and worked and worked for two solid months until his lungs were finally clear. With the help of his Pediatric Palliative Care team we were able to support his medical needs at home without hospitalization. It was an astounding feat for everyone.
As parents we were deeply exhausted on so many levels. What we needed most was reliable help in caring for Levi. This is the moment when my Mother entered our daily lives.
She was the first person after Mama and Papa to learn the art and science of caring for Levi. How to navigate his good days and his hard days. How to care for him at night when he is most fragile. How to foresee the development of an illness and work to reduce it’s impact. How to implement his extensive home-therapy programs. How to love and cherish each moment of his precious fragile life.
Within a year’s time she had bought a home, moved her belongings and beloved dog Trinity to MN. She had decided to make MN home and caring for Levi a focus within her life.
Soon after Levi was 2 years old she joined me in California to do Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy (HBOT) with Levi. This was a full body-sacrifice because it required her to live in California with a pregnant MamaShu , to “dive” with Levi five days a week for a month (20 dives) and care for him at nighttime. Just before Levi’s 4th birthday my Mother repeated this sacrifice when she completed all 40 dives with Levi in MN.
When Younger Brother arrived, my Mother took on even greater responsibilities in caring for Levi while also tending to post-pregnant me and helping with her second grandchild.
Today my Mother continues to be an integral part of our lives. She joins us four days a week to care for Levi. It is because of her that I am able to balance having two unique children. I fully trust how she cares for Levi, which gives me the freedom to step away from our home to join Younger Brother for preschool, swimming, play dates, plus the everyday needs of grocery shopping and self-care.
She has also taken the responsibility of implementing a significant portion of Levi's daily NeuroTherapy needs. She implements the extensive home-program that we received after Levi attended "bootcamp" (MNRI Conference) last summer. This requires her to know a large number of hands-on therapies and the skill to implement them in between Levi's medical cares, school and visits from other therapists.
My Mother often is the one to be available short notice to care for both boys when opportunities arise for me to engage in speaking and advocacy work for Levi. (Trust me caring for both boys is not easy!) Once a month she takes care of Younger Brother for the weekend so Papa Shu and I can take a respite break.
This spring my Mother received her Certification as a Healing Touch Practitioner. It is a goal she has been working toward for four years. I am so proud of her dedication, commitment to learning, willingness to be changed by the process, and overcoming big obstacles to reach a well deserved finish line. Though her work as a Practitioner she is able to use her gifts in a unique way to be of help to others and engage in a community that resonates with her values.
Thank you Mother for being who you are. For making the move to Minnesota so that we could have reliable help with Levi. For being someone whom I can entrust Levi to so that I can balance the needs of daily life, marriage, Younger Brother, and taking care of myself. Thank you for caring for Younger Brother so I can take respite with my husband. Thank you for being a role model to me that change and transformation are possible at any age. Thank you for allowing me to parent my children with my own perspective while also being a sounding board for all that I encounter in my mothering process. Thank you for supporting my work as an advocate, writer, and speaker. Thank you for believing in me. Each and every day.
I love you. Happy Mother’s Day!
Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you. Deuteronomy 5:16
