Super-Powered Mom
I just returned home from my first Hearts at Home moms conference. I went with a friend who four years earlier had gone to her first conference and had said then that I should go someday and she would commit to helping make that possible. Back then, with Levi nearing his second birthday and Younger Brother on the way, I had no comprehension of such an excursion ever being possible. It simply wasn't within my scope of comprehension to take a break from the intensity of raising my children to stop and make time to invest in my growth. Thankfully my friend could see a different future. Thankfully she was faithful to that vision and to me.
It was an amazing gathering of 2,500 moms from all over the country representing 6,500 kids. Our 28 hours away was packed with singing, teaching, panel discussions, rich conversations and “wow” moments. I am literally overflowing with thoughts, ideas and information. Hopefully, when my husband comes home, I will have enough self control to refrain from trying to tell him everything I experienced as soon as he walks in the door!
As I sat in the main sessions with award winning authors and breakout sessions with long seasoned moms and minsters teaching about aspects of being a mom, I couldn't help but feel that only half of my heart was present. This awareness didn't hit me until my fourth breakout session when the speaker, who had been talking about issues surrounding raising boys, asked us moms to raise their hand if they had one boy, two boys, more than two boys... and I found myself raising my hand after the 'one boy' question. All day long I had been applying the teaching to Younger Brother, who is neuro-typical, which was the focus of this conference: mothering neuro-typical kids.
Being at this conference was a stark reminder of how we as moms of children who are medically fragile and children who are neuro-typical live in two worlds. Parallel worlds, polar opposite worlds, and sometimes colliding worlds. On one hand it was refreshing to be in a room of 2,500 moms. Sharing our commonalities as we laughed, wept, and shared ah-ha moments together. I felt “typical” and it felt really really nice. I also felt completely out of my element, a stranger in a foreign land.
This wasn't my first conference for moms, it was my third. The first two were for moms with children with deaf-blindness. A disability that is the lowest of the lowest incidence (aka very uncommon). These were gatherings of 25 moms and our topics surrounded parenting our unique child. Much like at the big conference, I felt “typical” and it felt really really nice.
How to re-enter my life after such a moms conference (of either kind) is heavy on my heart tonight. How to do this with grace and compassion toward myself, toward God, toward my family? How to do this without abundant grief or extreme emotions?
At the big conference, with a “superhero mom” theme, they kept asking us to embrace our superpowers. To recognize that God has uniquely created me to be the mother of my children and has given me superpowers for the job.
Levi is a medically fragile child with a life-limiting condition. Younger Brother is a high energy boy. When God brought our second child into our family he did not bring us a meek, docile child. Quite the opposite.
So perhaps my superpower is that I can balance the edge of life/death with fullness of life.
“I have come that they may have life and have it more abundantly.” John 10:10
