The Trees Weep with Me
Last week I took a walk in the woods along familiar paths. A place where the content of my walks changed when our friend Isaac passed.
I noticed the details of God’s creation more clearly.
Colors
Smells
Textures
Sounds
Lines
Light
Shadow
Shapes
Movement
Stillness
Juxtaposition
Transformation
I would soak up these details with growing gratitude.
Treasuring what the Lord was allowing me to experience in my spirit through my earthly vessel; Waiting and listening to hear the Lord’s voice; Trusting in his abiding presence.
The juxtaposition of death present among life became startling, revealing, and healing:
A fallen tree leaning upon two vibrantly living trees;
A floor of crunching leaves underfoot, a deciduous green canopy overhead;
Sprouts of new life pressing through the earth where grasses and plants once lived.
There is a particular bend in the path where the Holy Spirit always brings Isaac and his parents to mind. In this place I would pause for wondering.
Wondering
what did Isaac see
that I cannot
because he has
taken up residence
in heaven
Wondering
how his parents
were navigating
these days to
weeks to months
without him
Praying
Weeping
Grieving
Allowing
Questions without answers
On some days I would snap a photo of this place along the path and send it to Isaac’s Mama. Just to let her know I was remembering all of them.
Last week, for the first time since Levi’s passing,
I returned to these trails alone. I had not set out to take this walk, rather it came about as a matter of routine before picking up Younger Brother from preschool. This was one of the few fragments of routine still present in my life.
I was taken aback when I realized where I was, in time and space.
Now the mother
of the departed child
My walking rhythm slowed
leaves crunching underfoot
gradually quieting
Lord. Have. Mercy.
on me
A new layer
spread all over
these woods
The air was cold and crisp
sky blue
trees cathedral overhead
brightly lit by sunlight
My eyes searching
familiar signs
death present
within life
Unfamiliar feelings
death present
within my life
I stood still
dwarfed by towering maples
heart weeping
Into my ears
came a new sound
drip drip drip
drip drip drip
Liquid upon metal
drip drip drip
Maples near and far
had been tapped
metal buckets hanging off of spiles
to catch the sap
drip drip drip
symphonic dripping
near and far
drip drip drip
Sap, clear and thin
weeping in rhythm
with my heart
drip drip drip
Tree to tree
bucket to bucket
I walked, looked
listened
drip drip drip
Every drop
carefully caught
drip drip drip
Weeping maples
weeping mama
a lenten image
a lavish of love
Only the Lord’s Spirit
could catch and hold it all
I have never encountered this moment before.
Even in the two years I have walked among these maples, with seasons of sap collecting. The sap has never flown this freely and been so audible throughout the forest.
Later in the week I joined Younger Brother’s preschool class as they collected this sap and added it to the rolling boil at the sugar shack. Where slowly over time and with heat, the sap is transformed into maple syrup.
By faith and hope in Christ, I trust my weeping will someday be transformed into something as sweet as syrup. ...someday.
Isaiah 43:1-3
But now, this is what the Lord says –
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
Romans 5:1-5
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
1 Peter 5: 10-11
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
